Wait Wait...Don't Tell Me!
5:18 pm
Fri May 30, 2014

Lightning Fill In The Blank

Originally published on Sat May 31, 2014 11:15 am

Transcript

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Now, on to our final game, Lighting Fill In The Blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill in the blank questions as they can - each correct answer now worth two points. Bill, can you give us the scores?

BILL KURTIS, BYLINE: Well, Rosie has two, Adam has three, Amy has four with the lead.

AMY DICKINSON: What? What?

SAGAL: That's amazing. Well, Rosie, you are in third place, so you're up first. The clock will start when I begin your first question. Fill in the blank - this week, the world mourned the loss of poet and activist blank, who passed away on Wednesday.

ROSIE PEREZ: Dr. Maya Angelou.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: That right. Following elections on Sunday, Petro Pereshenko was named the president of blank.

PEREZ: Ukraine.

SAGAL: Very good.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: On Tuesday, the Malaysian government decided to throw CNN a bone and released satellite data on the missing blank.

PEREZ: Oh, the plane.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Right. While attendinga charity dinner at Cannes, Justin Bieber blanked.

PEREZ: Vomited?

SAGAL: No, he ordered off the kids' menu.

(LAUGHTER)

PEREZ: Oh, my goodness.

SAGAL: On Thursday, former Microsoft CEO Steve Ballmer announced plans to buy the Los Angeles blank from Donald Sterling for $2 billion.

PEREZ: The Clippers.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: The Clippers. Scientists confirmed this week that in about two billion years, the Andromeda Galaxy will blank.

PEREZ: Explode?

SAGAL: No, it will collide with ours.

PEREZ: Oh, wow.

SAGAL: Supporters - I know. What are we going to do? I know, quick, let's everybody die long before that happens. Reporters...

KURTIS: That'll teach it.

SAGAL: That'll teach it. Reporters at Kim Kardashian and Kanye West's wedding speculated that the bride might have blanked before the ceremony.

PEREZ: Had sex?

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: No.

ADAM FELBER: No, she's a virgin.

SAGAL: No, they were staying pure. No, they speculated the bride might have got liposuction on her toes.

DICKINSON: Oh, stop it.

SAGAL: I'm not kidding. The procedure, which was named after famed shoe designer, Louboutin, is known - and this is true - as a lube job.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: It involves doctors sucking tiny amounts of fat from your feet and then replacing your air filter, then topping off your fluids for free.

(LAUGHTER)

PEREZ: Now is that really worth it? Because, you know, they say about lipo, if you suck the fat out from there, it's going to show up someplace else.

FELBER: Like your fingers.

PEREZ: Yeah.

SAGAL: Wait a minute...

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Now, is that true that liposuction - if they suck the fat out of one part of your body, it goes in some place else?

PEREZ: If you're going to get fat again, it has to some place. So her toes won't get fat again...

SAGAL: I've never thought...

PEREZ: ...But maybe like her eyelids or something.

(LAUGHTER)

KURTIS: Yeah.

PEREZ: You know, or the things underneath your underarms.

DICKINSON: The pooch - she'd get an underarm pooch.

PEREZ: I wouldn't risk it just to fit in a pair of shoes is what I'm saying.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: I think...

FELBER: Sound advice.

SAGAL: Bill, how did Rosie Perez do on our quiz?

KURTIS: Rosie got four right for eight more points. She now has ten and she's in the lead.

SAGAL: All right, let's stop and enjoy it.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: All right. Next up, I believe, is Mr. Adam Felber. Fill in the blank, Adam.

Following a new watchdog report, but Republicans and Democrats are calling in Eric Shinseki to resign as secretary of blank Affairs.

FELBER: The VA - Veterans Affairs.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Right. Apple announced Wednesday that it would buy headphone and streaming music company blank for $3 billion.

FELBER: Beats.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: By Dr. Dre. After revealing that 70 percent of their staff are men and 61 percent are white, search giant blank admitted it needed to examine its hiring process.

FELBER: Google.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Right. With an unannounced meeting at the White House on Thursday, blank fueled rumors that she will be running for president in 2016.

FELBER: Hillary Clinton.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Right. The winner of this year's annual Gloucestershire cheese-rolling race stunned organizers when he announced blank.

FELBER: He does not eat cheese.

SAGAL: Exactly right.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Two-hundred and eighty-one contestants gathered in National Harbor, Maryland for the start of the Scripps National blank.

FELBER: Boatathon.

SAGAL: No, the Scripps National Spelling Bee. According to the New York Post, parents sending their kids off to summer camp are paying up to a thousand dollars to have someone blank.

FELBER: Shadow them.

SAGAL: No, pack their kids bags for them.

FELBER: Oh, I did read that.

SAGAL: Professional home organizers in New York City say they are taking requests from wealthy mothers to come pack up the kids for camp because the moms just cannot figure out how to pack the nanny into a Louis Vuitton bag.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: It costs up to a thousand dollars per kid, but it may seem like a lot to get little Blue Ivy ready for camp Chen-A-Wanda, but where else can she learn to relate to nature and get badges in vegan cooking and conscious uncoupling?

(LAUGHTER)

DICKINSON: But now they have to leave room for the ferrets.

SAGAL: It's true.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Bill, how did Adam Felber do?

KURTIS: Oh, it's back and forth. Adam got five right for ten more points - 13 total. He is now in the lead.

SAGAL: Oh my gosh. So how many then does Amy Dickinson need to win?

KURTIS: Five.

SAGAL: Five. Here we go, Amy, this is for the game. Fill in the blank.

For the first time in three years, the commerce department announced that the U.S. economy blanked.

DICKINSON: When up?

SAGAL: No, it shrunk. Not wanting to feel left out of all GM's fun, blank announced a recall of 1.3 million cars in North America.

DICKINSON: Ford.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Right. On Thursday, the military junta in blank announced a ban on anti-coup protest throughout the country.

DICKINSON: Oh, Thailand.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Right. An entire graduating class in Chicago was denied diplomas after they risked, quote, "cuts and black eyes" by banking.

DICKINSON: Streaking?

SAGAL: No, by tossing their graduating caps in the air. While attending the premiere of his wife, Angelina Jolie's new movie, actor blank was punched in face.

DICKINSON: Brad Pitt.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Right. In a win over the Philadelphia Phillies, Dodger's pitcher Josh Beckett threw his first ever blank.

DICKINSON: No-hitter.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: Right. According to New York Magazine, the new trendy energy drink among athletes is blank.

DICKINSON: Whoa, trendy energy drink - it's just water.

SAGAL: No, it's breast milk.

DICKINSON: No. No. I cannot unhear that.

FELBER: That's not good.

DICKINSON: Did Alicia Silverstone have something to do with that?

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: The athletes, who are willing to pay up to $250 an ounce for this stuff, claim that the milk gives them strength and energy that other drinks just don't provide. While there's no direct evidence to support this claim, it does explain why the winner of last year's New York Marathon was a 7-month-old baby.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Bill, did Amy do well enough to win?

KURTIS: She got a total of 12 points, but Adam is our winner with 13.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: In just a minute, we'll ask our panelists now that they're married, what will break up Kim and Kanye? But first let me tell you that support for NPR comes from NPR stations, and Arizona State University, with more than 60 campus degrees now available, 100 percent online at online.asu.edu. The Skoll Foundation, supporting social entrepreneurs and their innovations, to solve the world's most pressing problems at skoll.org. And Gevalia - over 150 years of Swedish expertise dedicated to the art of coffee making. Gevalia - rich, never bitter.

WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME is a production of NPR and WBEZ Chicago in association with Urgent Haircut Productions. Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.