PETER SAGAL, HOST:
Now it's time to move on to our final game, Lightning Fill In The Blank. Each of our players will have 60 seconds in which to answer as many fill-in-the-blank questions as he or she can, each correct answer now worth 2 points. Bill, can you give us the scores?
BILL KURTIS: Alonzo has 2. Faith and Adam each have 3.
SAGAL: All right, so that means that Alonzo, you are definitely starting us off since you're in third place. Here we go. The clock will start when I begin your first question, fill-in the blank. This week, Fox News announced that Donald Trump would sit down with blank for an interview in May.
ALONZO BODDEN: Megyn Kelly.
SAGAL: Right.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: On Thursday, the FBI arrested the brother of the blank shooter on charges of marriage fraud.
BODDEN: San Bernardino?
SAGAL: Yes.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: On Tuesday, Apple announced its first-ever quarterly decline in blank sales.
BODDEN: iPhone.
SAGAL: Right.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: The owner of an auto body shop in Minnesota was arrested this week after it was revealed he gave his employees blank as an annual bonus.
BODDEN: Marijuana?
SAGAL: No, meth.
BODDEN: Oh.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: On Monday, the Golden State Warriors announced that blank would be out for two weeks with an MCL sprain.
BODDEN: Steph Curry.
SAGAL: Right.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: This week, health officials in the U.K. suggested smokers hoping to quit should switch to blank.
BODDEN: Crystal meth.
SAGAL: No.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: That would help - e-cigarettes. Despite numerous complaints, city officials in...
(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)
SAGAL: ...Manchester, England, have refused to apologize for a new bike lane that blanks.
BODDEN: A new bike lane that - what would a bike lane do? Does it somehow go near Buckingham Palace?
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: No.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Perhaps we'll just concede to the point and I'll tell you what it does. It runs right into a lamppost.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Manchester's transport chief says the new bike lane is perfectly safe, despite the fact it runs directly into a street lamp and then to an enclosed bus stop before Guiding its cyclists from the sidewalk into the street. But biking advocates disagree. Local activist Nick Hubble says, quote, "placing a painted cycle lane in such close proximity to a hazard is ridiculous." Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to weave in and out of traffic and run a red light without checking for...
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: ...Oncoming traffic.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Ta-ta.
BODDEN: Peter, I don't know how I don't know these things.
SAGAL: I don't know either, Alonzo. I thought you were an educated man. Bill, how did Alonzo do on our quiz?
KURTIS: He got four right, 8 more points, total of 10 gives him the lead.
SAGAL: All right, for now.
(APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: We have flipped a coin. Adam has elected to go next, fill in the blank. This week, Charles Koch said it was possible that blank would make a better president than any GOP contender.
ADAM BURKE: Hillary Clinton.
SAGAL: Right.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: Following airstrikes in the city of Aleppo on Wednesday, U.N. peacekeepers say the cease-fire in blank is hanging by a thread.
BURKE: In Syria.
SAGAL: Right.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: This week, the House's Armed Services Committee voted to require women to register for the blank.
BURKE: For the draft?
SAGAL: Yes, indeed.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: On Monday, a U.S. appeals court reinstated blank's four-game Deflategate suspension.
BURKE: Brady - Tom Brady.
SAGAL: Yes.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: On Wednesday, SpaceX announced plans for an unmanned flight to blank.
BURKE: Mars.
SAGAL: Right.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: On Monday, the sister of musician blank said that he had died without leaving a will.
BURKE: Prince.
SAGAL: Right.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: After neighbors called in with reports of a couple angrily...
(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)
SAGAL: ...Screaming at each other, Canadian police arrived at a house to find blank.
BURKE: I - the TV was on.
SAGAL: No, a man having a heated argument with his parrot.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: The residents in Brighton, Ontario, were alarmed when they heard their neighbor screaming I hope you die over and over again at the top of his lungs. So they call police, report a domestic dispute. However, when police arrived on the scene, they found there was only one person in the house yelling at his parrot.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Seems ridiculous to get that mad at a bird. But in the guy's defense, it was doing that really annoying thing that people do during arguments where they're just repeating everything you say back to you.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Bill, how did Adam Burke do on our quiz?
KURTIS: Very well - six right, 12 more points, total of 15, healthy lead.
(APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: And how many then does Faith need to win?
KURTIS: Six to tie and seven to win.
SAGAL: All right, Faith, here we go. On Wednesday, former House Speaker blank was sentenced to 15 months in prison.
FAITH SALIE: Hastert.
SAGAL: Right.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: This week, coalition airstrikes destroyed over $800 million of blank's cash stockpiles.
SALIE: Oh, ISIS.
SAGAL: Right.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: On Tuesday, a judge in New York ruled that the attorney general's fraud lawsuit against blank University could go to trial.
SALIE: Trump.
SAGAL: Right.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: On Thursday, Vice President Joe Biden made a surprise trip to blank.
SALIE: Iraq.
SAGAL: Right.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: This week, in order to celebrate their cultural heritage, the Japanese prefecture of Aichi hired a ninja named blank.
SALIE: Hello Kitty.
SAGAL: No, he was named Chris...
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: ...Chris the ninja. On Tuesday, former quarterback for the Cleveland Browns blank was indicted on assault charges.
SALIE: Oh, Johnny Manziel?
SAGAL: Right.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: This week, a 50-year-old study revealed punishing kids by blanking increases anti-social behavior.
SALIE: Spanking.
SAGAL: Right.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: On Tuesday, a purse-snatcher in Washington, D.C...
(SOUNDBITE OF GONG)
SAGAL: ...Tried to escape police by jumping the fence surrounding blank.
SALIE: The White House.
SAGAL: Yes, indeed.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: They'll never find me in there.
(APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: The unidentified man had stolen a purse across the street from 1600 Pennsylvania Avenue. And while making his getaway, he hopped the worst possible fence you can hop in the world.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: He was immediately caught, taken to prison. But you can't blame him for trying. Who would've guessed that Tuesday was the one day when the Secret Service actually does their job?
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Bill, did Faith do well enough to win?
KURTIS: She needed seven; she got seven...
SAGAL: Oh my gosh.
(APPLAUSE)
KURTIS: ...Seventeen total - you won.
(APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: In just a minute, we're going to ask our panelists to predict now that "Lemonade" is out, what will be the title of Jay Z's next single in response?
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