BILL KURTIS: From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME, the NPR News quiz. I'm Bill Kurtis. We're playing this week with Paula Poundstone, Roxanne Roberts and Tom Bodett. And here again is your host at Wolf Trap in Vienna, Va., Peter Sagal.
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PETER SAGAL, HOST:
Thank you, Bill.
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SAGAL: Thanks, everybody. Right now, it's time for the WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME Bluff the Listener game. Call 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to play our game on the air. Hi, you're on WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME.
GRACE THOMAS: Hi, this Grace calling from Durham, N.C.
SAGAL: Durham, N.C., is a beautiful place.
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THOMAS: It is.
SAGAL: I like it there. It's part of the Research Triangle where they research triangles. Is that not right?
THOMAS: I focus on hypotenuses.
SAGAL: Oh, that's good. That's your specialty. That's excellent.
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SAGAL: Well, welcome to the show, Grace. You're going to play our game in which you must try to tell truth from fiction. Bill, what is Grace's topic?
KURTIS: Suck it, Will Shortz.
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SAGAL: Used to be puzzles were just for nerds sitting at home alone with a newspaper. Not anymore. A puzzle this week left the world of nerdy puzzledom (ph) and made headlines. Our panelists are going to tell you about it. Pick the real story of puzzles in the news, you will win our prize, Carl Kasell voice on your voicemail. Are you ready to play?
THOMAS: Yes, I am.
PAULA POUNDSTONE: All right. First up, it is Paula Poundstone.
POUNDSTONE: From a young age, my parents impressed on me the values that you work hard for what you want in life, that your word is your bond and you do what you say...
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POUNDSTONE: ...And keep your promise, that you treat people with respect.
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POUNDSTONE: All right. I'm going to stop right there. I have something to confess. I didn't write that.
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POUNDSTONE: Readers of the Vineyard Gazette newspaper look forward to puzzle contributor Sam Hall's (ph) popular brain power puzzle page each morning. Sunday is word search day. The word search is the puzzle with the familiar cube of seemingly unrelated letters lined up in columns with an accompanying list of words for which to search.
Last Sunday, those who played the word search, including the puzzle creator Sam Hall's wife, Gilda (ph), got quite a surprise. The puzzle was titled Love Letters. The list of words to search for included passion, trust, snuggle, companion, soulmates, best friend, eternity and till death do us part.
The catch is that search as one might, the words could not be found in the puzzle. On closer inspection however, the letters in the column were not unrelated. If read start to finish left to right, they said, Gilda, I am leaving you.
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POUNDSTONE: I don't love you anymore. My basset hound Logi (ph) is more energetic and stimulating than you. When I said I'd love you to the end of time, I didn't know that time would include waiting around while you play Sims and Farmville. I am sick of your nagging. I would rather perform sexual favors for Kim Jong-un on a bed of nails than spend one more night with you in your Sleep Number bed.
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SAGAL: (Laughter) A...
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SAGAL: ...Word search that was really a demand for a divorce. Your next story of puzzles in the news comes from Tom Bodett.
TOM BODETT: Beauford, captain of the Martha's Vineyard SWAT unit - in other news, Martha's Vineyard has a SWAT unit...
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BODETT: ...Reported on Saturday, July 16, his team was mobilized to dislodge a family refusing to vacate their rental house. The hold out was Renice Alexander (ph). Every summer, as her parents did before her, she takes her family to Oak Bluffs on Martha's Vineyard for two weeks to romp on the beach, ride bikes through the picturesque seaside town, eat ice cream and then end every day with a jig-saw building marathon on the kitchen table, which is where the trouble started.
Vacation house puzzles these days are always missing pieces. I was sick of it, said Ms. Alexander. I was raised to finish a puzzle, and I want my kids to finish their puzzles. You can't finish a puzzle that's missing pieces. After 10 incomplete puzzles were abandoned, Alexander had had enough. I called the agent and said we were not leaving until they brought us a new puzzle. Two grand a week should get one finished puzzle.
Rentals are Saturday to Saturday, advised realtor Melanie Kahn (ph). No exceptions. One stubborn hold out can back up the entire season. I probably didn't need the SWAT team, but he's my husband, and they like to put on all the gear.
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BODETT: Alexander held her ground until their demand was met - a 1,000-piece nature puzzle, not too much sky or water and with some birds and boats. Late Saturday evening, as the police and the arriving family shared some fried clam takeout, a cheer went up from the house. The puzzle was done. Renice and her family were allowed to leave the island with her oldest daughter commenting, we feel like hostages on these family vacations anyway, so it was kind of cool to actually be one this time.
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SAGAL: A family refuses to leave their vacation home...
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SAGAL: ...If they're not allowed to actually complete a puzzle. Your last very puzzling story comes from Roxanne Roberts.
ROXANNE ROBERTS: We all know crossword puzzles are hard, but a 91-year-old German woman didn't have a clue. Well, actually she had too many clues. The unnamed woman, part of a tour group, came across an intriguing puzzle with the label Insert Words next to it. And so she did without asking herself why the puzzle was on the wall of Nuremberg's Neues Museum. Turns out it was a piece of modern art by artist Arthur Kopcke valued at $98,000. Well, that was before she filled in the blanks with a ballpoint pen.
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ROBERTS: Quote, "we do realize the old lady didn't mean any harm," said museum director, Eva Kraus. Nevertheless, as a state museum, we couldn't avoid making a criminal complaint. Also, for insurance reasons, we had to report the incident to the police. The artwork can be repaired, but the little old lady is a little down and across with herself.
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SAGAL: All right.
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SAGAL: Here are your choices. There - we saw a story about puzzles in the week's news. Was it from Paula Poundstone, how an angry bereft man used his word search puzzle to let his wife know that he did not love her anymore? From Tom Bodett, how a family vacationing in Martha's Vineyard would not leave the house until they were provided with a complete brand-new puzzle they could finish? Or from Roxanne, a story about how a valuable work of art that seemed to be a crossword puzzle was ruined when a little old lady visiting the museum decided to fill it in? Which of these is the real story from the news?
THOMAS: I'm going to have to say the crossword puzzle being ruined by the old lady.
SAGAL: The crossword puzzle being ruined by the old lady.
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SAGAL: Seems the people of Virginia - and all of them are here...
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SAGAL: ...Agree with you. You're going to choose Roxanne's story. Well, to bring you to the correct answer, please listen to this.
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KERI LUMM: The notes above the piece clear said insert words and help finish the puzzle.
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SAGAL: That was Keri Lumm of Buzz60 reporting on the crossword art debacle in Germany. Congratulations, Grace, you got it right.
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SAGAL: You earned a point for Roxanne. You've won our prize. Carl Kassell will record the greeting on your voicemail. Well done. Congratulations.
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THOMAS: Thank you.
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THE ROLLING STONES: (Singing) Me, I'm waiting so patiently, lying on the floor. I'm just trying to do my jigsaw puzzle before it rains anymore. Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.