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Panelist Questions

BILL KURTIS: Support for NPR comes from NPR stations and the NPR Wine Club, offering wines from around the world with the stories behind each one and bottles inspired by favorite NPR shows. Available to adults 21 years or older. Learn more at nprwineclub.org. Progressive Insurance - offering its home quote explorer, so shoppers can evaluate options in one place when buying home insurance. Custom quotes and rates are available online. Learn more at progressive.com. And Newman's Own Foundation, working to nourish the common good by donating all profits from Newman's OWn food products to charitable organizations that seek to make the world a better place. More information is available at newmansownfoundation.org.

(SOUNDBITE OF MUSIC)

KURTIS: From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME, the NPR news quiz. I'm Bill Kurtis. We're playing this week with Faith Salie, Paula Poundstone and P.J. O'Rourke. And here again is your host at the Chase Bank Auditorium in downtown Chicago, Peter Sagal.

PETER SAGAL, HOST:

Thank you, Bill. Thanks everybody.

(APPLAUSE)

SAGAL: In just a minute, there once was a man from Nantucket who had to step down after a number of credible allegations.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: It's our Listener Limerick challenge. If you'd like to play, give us a call at 1-888-WAITWAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Right now, panel, some more questions for you from the week's news. Faith, a new study finds that online daters who mention what in their profiles have more than twice as much success as those who don't?

FAITH SALIE: Oh, I mean, it's not dogs or pets or anything cute like that, right?

SAGAL: No, nothing like - nothing as obvious as that.

SALIE: Nothing - so it's not obvious?

SAGAL: No.

(LAUGHTER)

PAULA POUNDSTONE: I think it's ventriloquism.

SALIE: So can I have a hint?

SAGAL: (Laughter) Who said that?

(LAUGHTER)

SALIE: Can I have a hint?

SAGAL: Yeah. Well, you know it's a great match if the person who hooks up with you has chips.

SALIE: Guacamole?

SAGAL: Guacamole, yes.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

POUNDSTONE: Wow.

SAGAL: That is the answer. Now, you know, just mention guacamole in your profile, and you are now twice as likely to get a date.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: You know, just...

P. J. O'ROURKE: I am just so glad I'm not dating (laughter).

SAGAL: I know.

SALIE: What?

SAGAL: Just, you know, just...

O'ROURKE: Guacamole.

SAGAL: Just slip it in easily. Like, quote, you know, like, I'm so...

O'ROURKE: On my yacht.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Yeah. Or...

O'ROURKE: Guacamole on my yacht - I can see how that would work.

(LAUGHTER)

O'ROURKE: Guacamole on my private plane.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: You're so cynical, P.J.

O'ROURKE: I am, yeah.

(LAUGHTER)

O'ROURKE: Come to my private island in the Caribbean and have some guacamole.

(LAUGHTER)

O'ROURKE: Are they - you know, is their algorithm contextualizing how guacamole gets mentioned?

SAGAL: No. Apparently, it works no matter what you say. You can say, I'm so excited. My mom, who I still live with at the age of 45, is making guacamole tonight. And bingo.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Or holy guacamole, I have a lot of open sores. It works. It doesn't matter.

SALIE: Oh.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Paula, millennials have adopted a lot of hobbies from older generations, from knitting to needlepoint. But according to a report, what's the most recent way 20-somethings are imitating the elderly?

POUNDSTONE: I don't know. Give me a hint.

SAGAL: Well, it's quite hip, literally.

POUNDSTONE: Oh, they're having hip replacements.

SAGAL: They are.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SAGAL: It's the hot new thing for the hipsters.

POUNDSTONE: Yeah, baby.

SAGAL: According to the National Center for Health Statistics, the number of young people getting hip replacements has shot up over the past five years, rising faster than most people with a hip replacement possibly can.

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: Now...

POUNDSTONE: Why?

SAGAL: Well, they're not doing it because it's cool or hip. They actually need them. It turns out that the high-intensity exercise and yoga routines that young people do puts a lot of stress on the joint. Millennials are getting new hips as early as their 20s and then every two years after that, when a new hip with a better camera comes out.

(LAUGHTER)

SALIE: Wait. Wait. Wait. You said high-intensity exercise and yoga, which...

SAGAL: And/or yoga.

SALIE: ...Are opposites.

SAGAL: And/or yoga.

POUNDSTONE: You know, in San Francisco, when I lived there, I was a young adult. I was in my, you know, early 20s. And there was a show that would come on, like, early in the morning. And, sometimes, just to punish myself for having been up all night, I would watch it. It was Joanie Greggains. And she did a workout show. And so I would get up and make myself do the workout. And then when she went to commercials, she'd say, keep doing this during commercial. And I would hide behind the television, hoping she couldn't see...

(LAUGHTER)

POUNDSTONE: ...That I wasn't doing it.

SAGAL: Really?

POUNDSTONE: And that's why I'm here to tell you, these are my original hips.

SAGAL: Yeah. You see?

(LAUGHTER)

SAGAL: You saved yourself.

POUNDSTONE: Yeah.

O'ROURKE: Yeah, absolutely.

SAGAL: Faith, a village in Ireland is claiming that fumes from a pharmaceutical plant are causing unusual side effects in the villagers. What does the factory make?

SALIE: Oh, I thought I was going to have to guess the side effects. What is - the factory make? Well, it has to be related to the side effects, right?

SAGAL: Oh, yes, very much so. I should also tell you that it only affects the male residents of the village.

(LAUGHTER)

SALIE: Well, everyone's laughing like they know.

(LAUGHTER)

SALIE: What is...

O'ROURKE: We do know.

SALIE: So it has to be some kind of a smell?

POUNDSTONE: Oh, I thought there was...

(LAUGHTER)

SALIE: It's like a VIAGRA?

SAGAL: It's VIAGRA.

O'ROURKE: (Screaming) Yes.

SAGAL: It is VIAGRA.

(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)

SALIE: What?

SAGAL: There is a plant in the village of Ringaskiddy. Its fumes have been blamed for men and also, believe it or not, male dogs...

O'ROURKE: (Laughter).

POUNDSTONE: Oh, that's what it was.

SALIE: Oh, my...

SAGAL: ...Walking around town with their little leprechauns at full attention, if you will.

(LAUGHTER)

SALIE: This sounds like the best premise for a musical - like, an updated version of "Brigadoon."

(LAUGHTER)

SALIE: Right?

SAGAL: It really does.

SALIE: Like, for this month, this whole town...

SAGAL: Yes.

SALIE: ...Is full of - what's it called? - preopsis (ph)?

SAGAL: Well, it's like the town...

SAGAL: Isn't that prolonged erectile...

SAGAL: No, it's like - yeah, exactly right. Brigadoon - the town appears only once every 100 years. And if it lasts longer than four hours, they have to call a doctor.

SALIE: Exactly.

(SOUNDBITE OF SONG, "SOMETHING IN THE AIR")

THUNDERCLAP NEWMAN: (Singing) Call out the instigator because there's something in the air. We got to get together sooner or later. Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.