BILL KURTIS: From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME, the NPR news quiz. I'm Bill Kurtis. We're playing this week with Luke Burbank, Adam Felber and Helen Hong. And here again is your host at the Chase Bank Auditorium in downtown Chicago, Peter Sagal.
PETER SAGAL, HOST:
Thank you.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Thank you, Bill. In just a minute, Bill sings "Rhyme Proud To Be an American." It's the Listener Limerick Challenge. If you'd like to play, give us a call at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Right now, panel, some more questions for you from the week's news. Helen, this week, The Wall Street Journal reported on a new group of stock traders lighting up the markets in Germany. It's a group of savvy financiers who spend their off hours working as what?
HELEN HONG: Go-go dancers?
SAGAL: Quite the opposite.
HONG: Librarians?
SAGAL: Even further down that spectrum.
HONG: Nuns.
SAGAL: Yes.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
ADAM FEBLER: What?
HONG: Wow.
(APPLAUSE)
HONG: Nuns.
SAGAL: At Germany's Mariendonk Nunnery, they needed money, so they started trading stocks, investing in companies that share their values, like Virgin Airlines.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: You know, apparently these nuns are very good. Like, they knew somehow to dump all their VW stock right before the whole scandal came out about the...
HONG: Well, 'cause people were confessing.
SAGAL: That may be it.
LUKE BURBANK: That's absolutely it. People confess, and they're like, oh, we're going to keep it quiet. Of course, we're going to keep it quiet. We're nuns. Sell, sell, sell.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Adam, a new study released this week revealed that only one in five people mean it when they say what?
FEBLER: I'll be ready in five minutes.
(LAUGHTER)
FEBLER: 'Cause that's how it works in my (unintelligible). Yeah, yeah, yeah.
SAGAL: Oh, it's never true. It's really never true. That's not it. It's a common answer to a very common question.
FEBLER: I'm fine.
SAGAL: Exactly. I'm fine is the answer. Only 1 in 5 people actually mean that when they say it. The research was conducted by the Mental Health Foundation who, no doubt, will be very, very busy over the next four years or so.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Of the rest, 30 percent are miserable. Another 30 percent are just awful and 20 percent weren't actually listening and just guessed that you said - how are you?
(LAUGHTER)
BURBANK: What a desperately depressing job it would have been to conduct that survey.
SAGAL: How are you? I'm fine.
BURBANK: Really?
SAGAL: Really?
BURBANK: I don't think so.
SAGAL: You don't look fine.
BURBANK: Let's talk about how fine you are. If that's a survey, I conducted a four-year survey called my first marriage.
(APPLAUSE)
HONG: Oh, yikes.
SAGAL: Helen, the world's oldest person turned 117 this week, and she credits her longevity to what?
HONG: Being single.
SAGAL: Yes, that's right. It's weird that's the question you immediately knew the answer to...
HONG: Oh, yeah.
SAGAL: ...And seemed kind of satisfied about it.
HONG: Absolutely, I mean, I have to tell myself something.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: We should clarify not only is 117-year-old Emma Morano single. She also says she's lived this long because she eats raw eggs every day.
BURBANK: Which also explains why she's single.
SAGAL: Exactly - I don't know why I couldn't find a partner, she said, yolk dripping from her mouth.
(LAUGHTER)
FEBLER: What is the upper, upper age bracket on Tinder?
(LAUGHTER)
FEBLER: Serious question.
HONG: I actually do you know this. They won't let you put in past 50.
FEBLER: Oh, my God.
HONG: Isn't that sad?
SAGAL: That is a little sad.
HONG: Yeah, because...
SAGAL: Hey, wait a minute. That's very sad.
BURBANK: Is there a 50-plus classification or is it just 50 or please go away?
HONG: I think after 50 they bump you off to eHarmony and you're on your own.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Oh, man.
HONG: Yeah - yep.
BURBANK: That's rough.
SAGAL: Yeah, around Tinder they call eHarmony the home.
(SOUNDBITE OF SONG, "SINGLE LADIES")
BEYONCE: (Singing) All the single ladies.
UNIDENTIFIED SINGERS: (Singing) All the single ladies.
BEYONCE: (Singing) All the single ladies.
UNIDENTIFIED SINGERS: (Singing) All the single ladies.
BEYONCE: (Singing) All the single ladies.
UNIDENTIFIED SINGERS: (Singing) All the single ladies.
BEYONCE: (Singing) All the singles ladies, now put your hands up - oh, oh, oh oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, whoa, oh, oh, oh. Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.