BILL KURTIS: From NPR and WBEZ Chicago, this is WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME, the NPR News quiz. I'm Bill Kurtis. We are playing this week with Adam Felber, Paula Poundstone and Roxanne Roberts. And here again is your host at the Chase Bank Auditorium in downtown Chicago, Peter Sagal.
PETER SAGAL, HOST:
Thank you so much.
(APPLAUSE)
SAGAL: Thank you, Bill. In just a minute, Bill does a duet with his favorite slide guitarist Rhyme Cooder.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: It's our Listener Limerick Challenge. That's coming up. If you'd like to play, give us a call at 1-888-WAIT-WAIT. That's 1-888-924-8924. Right now, panel, some more questions for you from the week's news.
Paula, according to airline employees, a growing number of passengers' emotional support animals are what?
PAULA POUNDSTONE: Snakes.
(LAUGHTER)
POUNDSTONE: A number of...
ADAM FELBER: I've had enough of these M-F-ing (ph) emotional support snakes...
(LAUGHTER)
FELBER: ...On this plane.
SAGAL: Yes.
(LAUGHTER)
POUNDSTONE: No. Give me a hint, Peter.
SAGAL: Well, it's, like, yeah, I know it's a milk cow. But look, it's wearing a vest that says working.
POUNDSTONE: Oh, they're just regular pets.
SAGAL: Yeah, they're fake. They're not actually emotional support animals.
FELBER: They're impersonators.
SAGAL: Yeah. There are...
FELBER: They don't care about your emotions at all.
POUNDSTONE: Yeah.
SAGAL: They really don't.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: There are a lot of things that are not allowed on planes - guns, large bottles of shampoo and, soon, people who look Muslim-y (ph). But you can bring your pet onto an airplane for free if it is a certified service animal. Problem is, you know who certifies the service animals? Anybody at all. There's nobody actually in charge of that. It's just like the Protestant faith or the Democratic Party.
(LAUGHTER)
FELBER: So a great scam is coming to an end is what you're saying.
SAGAL: Well, they're trying to crack down on this.
ROXANNE ROBERTS: And how would they do that?
SAGAL: That's a good question. They're trying to - you know, they're encouraging people not to do this. They're saying...
FELBER: Hey, we took your animal away, and you seem pretty fine emotionally.
POUNDSTONE: Exactly, yeah.
(LAUGHTER)
FELBER: I don't know. You seem pretty balanced.
SAGAL: What may happen is when word gets around this is a scam, people are going to start using it for other things. This is my emotional support girlfriend. She should fly with me for free. Oh, and this is my emotional support Samsung Galaxy Note 7...
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: ...I can take it on the plane.
POUNDSTONE: You know, I...
FELBER: You know what? I think we all deserve some emotional support luggage.
SAGAL: Yeah, that's true.
POUNDSTONE: I can't figure out how - you know, today when I get on the plane, you know, they make the announcement about if you have a Samsung 7, it's not allowed on the plane. OK. Who take - who hands it over? Who goes - oh, yeah, I do? Here.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Don't you believe in the essential honesty of people?
FELBER: Giving up their phones, though?
POUNDSTONE: Do I believe in the essential what?
SAGAL: Honesty of people?
POUNDSTONE: Honesty of people? No. I just lied to a man about a wrestler being a...
(LAUGHTER)
POUNDSTONE: ...Craftsperson.
(LAUGHTER)
POUNDSTONE: And boy, he took the bait, didn't he?
(LAUGHTER)
FELBER: Oh, boy. Big ups.
POUNDSTONE: Yeah, baby.
(LAUGHTER)
ROBERTS: All right. So - but here's my question.
SAGAL: Yes.
ROBERTS: Here's my question. Do you mind when someone brings a dog on? I've never - I find the animals usually much more pleasant than the other passengers. So...
SAGAL: I enjoy the little dogs. There have been incidents where people have brought, like, pigs onto a plane that have like run up and down the aisle. And...
POUNDSTONE: When have you ever seen that?
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: I...
FELBER: Worst Sam Jackson movie ever.
(LAUGHTER)
POUNDSTONE: I've never seen - I fly more than anyone I know, and I've never seen a pig running up and down the aisle.
(LAUGHTER)
POUNDSTONE: That's a ridiculous story.
(LAUGHTER)
POUNDSTONE: Have there been studies, Peter? Have they done studies about that?
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Scientists have determined that sometimes pigs go on planes.
POUNDSTONE: They do not go on planes.
FELBER: Somewhere backstage, Peter's emotional support pig is crying.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Adam, driverless cars are coming. But the head of Mercedes Benz USA warns that these cars are going to have a big problem. What?
FELBER: They're not going to want passengers.
SAGAL: No.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: I'll give you a hint. We're going to beat them up and steal their toll money.
FELBER: They're going to be bullied?
SAGAL: Yes, by humans.
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
FELBER: On the road?
SAGAL: Exactly.
FELBER: Of course.
SAGAL: Yes.
FELBER: Who does that driverless guy think he is - or isn't?
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: This is how it will work, according to the head of Mercedes USA, and it makes sense.
FELBER: I'll show you what no driver looks like.
SAGAL: So driverless cars, of course, will be programmed to drive very safely - go the speed limit, obey all the rules. Basically, they'll be the nerds of the highway...
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: ...And totally at our mercy. So humans will bully them. We'll cut them more. We won't let them merge, and we'll give them car wedgies, which is cramming groceries way too far up their trunk.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: And the best thing is the driverless cars are programmed just to say, come on, guys. Really?
(LAUGHTER)
FELBER: You know what's going to be interesting is that, in that passenger seat, those driverless cars are going to need an emotional support animal.
SAGAL: It's true.
(LAUGHTER) Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.