PETER SAGAL, HOST:
We want to remind everyone they can join us most weeks at the Chase Bank Auditorium in Chicago, Ill. For tickets and more information, go to WBEZ.org. Or you can find a link at our website, waitwait.npr.org. Right now panel time for you to answer some questions about this week's news. Luke, a new kind of veggie burger sold out in one hour during a trial at Whole Foods. People say it's the veggie burger everybody's been waiting for because unlike other veggie burgers, this one does what?
LUKE BURBANK: It bleeds.
SAGAL: It does...
(SOUNDBITE OF BELL)
SAGAL: ...Luke. It does bleed. The new Beyond Burger is what it's called - bleeds bright red beet juice when you bite into it.
ROXANNE ROBERTS: That's disgusting.
SAGAL: So they're well on the way to perfectly simulating the real burger experience just as soon as they can figure out a way to make it give you heart disease.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: Based on the success, they're about to launch their next innovation, a veggie chicken patty that begs for its life.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: But here's the thing, it's weird to think that, like, carefully simulated bleeding is what vegetarians crave.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: I - I know a number of vegetarians. I thought you loved your vegetables. I didn't think you secretly resented them for not having flesh.
(LAUGHTER)
ROY BLOUNT JR.: Beets have feelings.
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: They're feeling pretty beat.
BLOUNT JR.: Hey, hey...
(GROANING)
ROBERTS: What are they calling this, the stigmata burger?
SAGAL: No, it's - oh...
(LAUGHTER)
SAGAL: It's a miracle.
BLOUNT JR.: Well, they can make waffles that bleed. You can make anything that bleeds if you can...
SAGAL: That would be alarming.
BLOUNT JR.: Yeah.
(LAUGHTER)
BURBANK: The good news is you don't have to eat bloody waffles anymore if you're not hungry.
SAGAL: That's true.
BURBANK: We know that now.
(LAUGHTER)
BURBANK: That's what the research shows.
SAGAL: I like a waffle that bleeds, a pancake that screams - (shouting).
(LAUGHTER)
BURBANK: That would be an incredibly effective diet plan...
SAGAL: It really would be.
BURBANK: ...If all of...
(LAUGHTER)
BURBANK: ...All of your food was just deeply upsetting as you tried to eat it.
SAGAL: I know.
(LAUGHTER)
BLOUNT JR.: Or it really asked you to eat it. You know, that would be even worse if it had its own masochistic thing about it...
SAGAL: Please, please...
BLOUNT JR.: Eat me.
(SOUNDBITE OF SONG, "LET IT BLEED")
THE STONES: (Singing) We all need someone we can bleed on. Yeah, yea, and if you want it, baby, why don't you bleed on me?
SAGAL: Coming up, our panelists fix your car in our Bluff The Listener game. Called 1-888-WAIT-WAIT to play. We'll be back in a minute with more of WAIT WAIT... DON'T TELL ME from NPR. Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.